I love the scent of his cologne, the beauty of his face. The mystery in his eyes and the way that he looks at me as though he really cares. I love the attentiveness in his every feature. The way every inch of him pays attention to every word I say. He respects me. He talks to me, and he listens when I talk. He makes me laugh and laughs with me. He smiles.

How long has it been since my husband smiled that way at something I had to say?

I look beside me, at the stoic face of the man I married less than two years ago. How have things changed so drastically betwene us? How have things become so fake, so stiff, so untouchable? How long have we called each other  by our full names, not even allowing simple nicknames like 'honey' and 'sweetie'? How long have we existed, two strangers bound by simple, naive vows of youth?

I return my now saddened gaze to the man across the table from me. He is eagerly waiting for a response, the way a new puppy eagerly awaits a treat. We continue to talk.

My husband continues his frenzied work on the computer. Who can blame him? He doesn't get much time with anything these days. Work takes all of his time. The hours that remain are split between myself and the computer--and it is the latter that he prefers these days.

I itch to steal the laptop from under his fingers. I yearn to check my email, to see the sweety lyrical words of my newest friend, a boy I once oved but let go, many years ago. How sweet are his words to me! My heart thrills to see his name appear on the screen. It's been hours since I last read his name, or his kind words to me. Our relationship is purely business, I assure my husband. Purely business.

But my husband is checking my email daily now. He suspects it is more.

How could it be? My friend knows I am married, that I am bound by these vows I uttered.

The vows I uttered while I was still in love. In love with what, I wonder? With this man that now sits beside me, empty and devoid of love, compassion, kindness, caring, interest? I could find more romance in a paperclip!!!

What shall I do? I wonder to myself. I am surrounded by kind men who flatter me, who appeal to me. People that I can talk to, about world affairs and politics, down-home cooking and music. Peole that are interested in the things I'm interested in. People who intrigue me, interest me, and provoke me to thought. People that I enjoy.

Men that I enjoy.

Men that I enjoy... a lot.

Men that are not my husband.

Mmmm... I can hear his amazing voice calling my name, even now. Calling me to slumber, so that I can find myself entwiined with him in some far off, verdant paradise. I can smell him, the sensual, alluring scent that makes me yearn for him to draw closer, to make me his in every way, and to claim me as his own, moving my soul with a passion I have yet to experience. 

I have not yet had sex with another man, or gotten close to it. But the emotional pull I feel is so strong. I feel so connected to these men, these handsome, intelligent men. I hear the beauty of my name upon their lips, the respect in their voice when we talk. I hear the kindness of their thoughts, the gentleness of their speech, and the brilliance of their mind. I am overcome with lust--not for their bodies, but for their minds and hearts. Oh, my soul! How I could love them!

But alas, I must not. For I am bound, am bound.

Would that my husband would love me again! Treat me like a lady again! Dance with me, sing with me, play with me, touch me, kiss me, love me again! Respect me, adore me, cuddle me, whisper to me, and seduce me again!

But alas, I am bound, am bound, to this man whose heart has long stopped caring, and mind has long since wandered away. Two strangers in one house, unhappy, and bound by unconquerable pride, a drive so strong they cannot succumb to divorce. Bound by fierce honor, that they must obey their vows to the letter.

Yet in the night, I am not his; I am another's. I willfully dance in the arms of another man, with a sultry voice and a brilliant mind, strong arms and a great appreciation for knowledge. In the night, in my mind, I am another's.

Daily Humor: http://www.ece.ust.hk/~mchan/interest/jokes/politics.htm